I love romance novels. They're fun, easy to read, and almost always have a happy for now/ever after ending. And because I read for pleasure, a happy ending is often what I'm searching for. Especially if I'm reading books to get away from reading the news. Or academic papers that tend to require a great deal of brain power to absorb. Romance novels are a get-away for me. And they're also a relatively healthy and safe way to explore my own sexuality. Suffice it to say, I read a lot of romance novels, and while I have my favorite sub-genres I'm excited to read most of them regardless. So when I heard about The Bromance Book Club I was very intrigued. As with every genre, romance has tropes and cliches that can be hard to avoid. Dedicated readers of a genre are likely to overlook some of these since it is very difficult to avoid them, but that means that when a book comes along that seems to defy traditional happenings those readers snap to attention. And I was no different. I hadn't even read a synopsis of the book before I knew that it had the potential to turn things on their heads. The title says it all. Bromance. Now, I've read both homosexual and heterosexual romances. They both have great and not-so-great authors and books. They've both been around for hundreds and hundreds of years. Probably thousands of thousands of years. That isn't the -- dare I say it -- revolutionary bit of this title. The revolutionary bit of this title is that it implies heterosexual males are in a book club that reads romance novels. Mind = blown. Not because men shouldn't be reading romances, but because they so rarely are depicted doing so. Traditionally, romance novels are books written by women for women. This is the greatest strength, and to some extent greatest weakness, of the romance novel genre. Romance novels are considered the pornography of the literary universe by many people. They're "trashy." They aren't intellectual enough. They give women unrealistic expectations of sex, romance, and life in general. If anyone reading this blog post agrees with any of that, I suggest Dangerous Books for Girls: The Bad Reputation of Romance Novels Explained by Maya Rodale. It's an important read that addresses all those things in greater detail and with more references than I will here. But moving on, romance novels also allow women to have expectations of the men in their lives. They let women dream of things that are better than the world we live in, and they do so without being written from the perspective of male authors. Admittedly, the romance genre has a lot of issues with diversity. It's incredibly white-washed and skinny-washed. That is something that hopefully will continue to change. But this book, The Bromance Book Club, normalizes the idea that anyone can, and perhaps should, read romance novels. That is where its power lies. The Bromance Book Club is about a marriage on the rocks. She isn't happy. Hasn't been for a while. He took her for granted but doesn't want to lose her. He is also a man who has been mired in toxic masculinity his entire life. Whose ego is so damaged by the way she's been unhappy, that he can't see a way to fix it. So what are his friends to do? Initiate him into the bromance book club. Of course, he's reluctant. Romance novels aren't supposed to be read by men. It's just porn, right? Wrong, his friends say. It's a road map. Now follow our multi-step program and get your wife, and your happy life, back. So he does. Lyssa Kay Adams tackles really important ideas in this book, and I have high hopes that she will continue to tackle them in the future. First, she acknowledges the reputation that romance novels have but while she does that she makes a case for them. And she does so without throwing it in your face. It's done through the story. She also acknowledges that romance novels can give people unrealistic expectations of the world...just like everything else. The question is whether you also believe that people are going to be smart enough to take fictional stories with the appropriate grains of salt. She normalizes the idea that any person can read any book, even if that isn't what society tells us. Romance isn't just for women. Science fiction space operas aren't just for boys. And finally? She shows us that relationships don't stop at the wedding. That's when the journey is just beginning. And while dreams can help us get through the years, communication and work is what makes a relationship strong. Often romance novels can feel contrived, but The Bromance Book Club feels very real. Usually I don't suggest romance novels for everyone. I'm well aware that they aren't everyone's cup of tea and I'm not going to force my tea preferences on others. However, I do think everyone should read this book. Not for the sexy bits. Not for the happily for now/ever after. But for the statements it makes about keeping a relationship strong and how it is possible to be masculine while being vulnerable. They aren't mutually exclusive. Happy Reading!
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So you may have noticed that I haven't been the most consistent about posting these past few months. But really, it makes sense right? I'm starting a big new endeavor in a new place and as much as we used to think we were going to just be lazing around enjoying bonbons after sending the children off to bed early, adulthood in reality is much more busy than that. In my case, that meme talking about trying to juggle all my responsibilities, have a social life, and stay sane above the picture of Nuka (Kovu's older half-brother from The Lion King 2) right after he got blasted out of the grass fire is relatively accurate. Things are always busy around the holidays, and that's okay, but it's also much more work to try and juggle everything when there are dinners and get-togethers you want to enjoy with friends. Add in university and it's a perfect storm.
That being said, I may be busy but these last few weeks have been really fun as well. Introducing my flatmates to a Salzano Thanksgiving and attending two other Thanksgiving dinners throughout the week, it has been a good week in terms of food and friendship. It's amazing to me that it is already December, and I haven't gotten nearly as much writing (both for the PhD, my novels, and my blog) as I wanted, but overall things have been relatively productive. I'm making progress on my reading goal (which is higher right now than it has ever been and likely will ever be), I've submitted an abstract for my first conference of my PhD, the class I'm a TA for is close to finishing up, and I've purchased some yarn (AKA wool) for my Purim costume next year. So I'm busy, but with good things. I do think I'm going to need to do at least some work on my PhD over the winter break, but hopefully it won't be too strenuous. I feel as though I should be writing more today, but I don't have much else to say on this topic, other than to apologize for the inconsistencies, and to say I hope I'll do better over the next few weeks and during next term. Otherwise, I should probably get back to those responsibilities I'm juggling. ;) Happy Reading! |
AuthorThe author is a librarian who reads "too much" (is there such a thing?) and talks just as much. As an aspiring author she gets bogged down by grammar rules when she just wants to forget them to make a sentence flow, but never seems to be able to. She appreciates thoughtful comments and constructive criticism, but internet trolls beware, she's read enough fantasy novels to know how to defeat the monsters. Archives
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